I’ve learned:

1)that raising children is the source of our greatest joy and our greatest heartbreak — all at the same time.

2)that hearing the first heartbeat of your unborn baby causes your heart to beat differently from then on.

3)that everything you swore you’d never do before you had children, you end up doing — yes, even bribery.

4) that butterfly kisses bring tears to the most testosterone-filled macho man, especially if his name is Daddy.

5) that your child has a way of turning your No into Yes, and that even while the Yes is coming out of your mouth, you mean for it to be No.

6) that your child is the one life you would give yours for, whether you had a split second or a decade to decide.

7) that stay-at-home moms are the most misjudged people in the world.

that step-mothers are the most misunderstood people in the world.

9) that your child is the only love that can cause you to trade your successful career for thankless hiney-wiping, your designer suit for a pair of baggy sweat pants, your Victoria Secret lingerie for your husband’s T-shirt and a pair of boxers, your curvy yellow sport’s car for a boxy SUV, and lunch at Le Madeleine’s with girlfriends for a Happy Meal with a table full of squealing toddlers.

10) that only your teenager can cause you to morph into an unrecognizable monster in less than 30 seconds…and 30 seconds later transform this monster into a puddle of repentive mush.

11) that only your child — safely at home with grandma - can make you want to cut your Hawaiian vacation short by 3 days.

12) that if the choice is new carpet or summer youth camp, you get to keep the old carpet for seven summers in a row.

13) that your baby’s 105 degree fever is the quickest route from standing to kneeling.

14) that J.lo and Richard Gere have nothing on me when my kitchen becomes a dance floor and my partner is my 16-year-old son.

15) that when God says, “Just love him”, he really means, “Just love him.”

16) that the look on a Daddy’s face as he holds his newborn infant for the first time, is quite possibly the closest depiction of the face of God that I will see this side of Heaven.

17) that, “My life is a mess, Mom, please pray for me,” are some of the sweetest words I’ll ever hear.

18) that a neighbor being verbally abusive to your son can cause even a pastor’s wife to appear demonically possessed, pointing her mama bear claw right in the abuser’s terror-filled face — with nary the slightest regret to date!

19) that being introduced as Dr. Lyn Fitzpatrick, founder and CEO of our nation’s most successful Fortune 500 company, wouldn’t hold a candle to being introduced by my sons as the best mom in the world.

20) that with all my mistakes, all my failures, and all my regrets as a parent, I can count on one amazing truth that will forever remain: God’s amazing grace is still sufficient.